Thank you so much for the comments to my last post. It never fails to amaze me how blog land can deliver kindred spirits from nowhere; droplets of wisdom and the sentiment of ‘me too’ that soothe my addled mind. Somehow, knowing that others feel the same helps. As does the assertion that what I write here is the territory of ‘everywoman’. I like everywoman – she’s a friend of mine.
She likes going to bed before 9pm in flannel pyjamas. But she also likes dressing up, wearing heels and pretending like she’s 25 again. She is wise and knows her own mind. She reads. She absorbs. She notices the details. She rolls with the punches and picks herself up afterwards.
In what will now be remembered as ‘the-most-challenging-parenting-month-so-far’ I look back and see that life really does pack some punch when she wants to. My husband and I have exchanged looks this week imploring each other to shoulder the burden. You don’t realise when you have babies that they will grow up to become your whole life and that life will throw all sorts at both of you. You do it together. We realised this week that we make a good team. Even if half of the discussions had to take place by conference call from Germany, where he was.
Nothing happened that I will recount here for I am becoming increasingly aware of my children’s privacy – after all, for all I know my daughter or her friends could be reading this. I think it’s all going to be OK though. I have thought a lot about our family and what our values are. What spoken and unspoken codes we hold true and how they are being passed down. I think of my upbringing and how my Mum gently guided me, as she still does now, with a serenity and patience that I only hope I can emulate.
As I have said before; parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint.
Meanwhile this ‘everywoman’ deals with the every day. The pup needs to go to the vet. The laundry needs doing. The presents need wrapping. The minutiea of life falls to me. I read recently that the reason women my age are so tired (tiredness is the new epidemic, right?) is that they carry so much in their heads all the time. Each little event needs to be stored and managed. This accounts for the fogginess that descends on me sometimes. I am sure I used to be better at organisation?!
I went for a run today. Sometimes running is like penance and I struggle to complete even a few kilometres. Today, I could have run and run and run. So even though my mind is full to overflowing, the body was willing. The endorphins afterwards carried me through the day. And now, as I type this, my kids are eating pasta (staple diet), there is a glass of wine for me (or two) and a fish dinner later, Ellie Goulding is playing on the iphone and despite everything, I must remember that life is good.