So the new rhythm asserts itself. No early mornings, less activity, less clock-watching and a run of sunny weather that has left most Brits suspicious; when will it end?! Well, it ended today as we awoke to drizzle and grey. The sun might come back but equally it might not. That might just have been summer. Did you enjoy it?
We went to Amsterdam, Boo and her friend and I. It was beautiful and contrasting and I marvelled again at the tolerance of the society there and the prettiness of the canals and how healthy every one looked. We stayed with one of my oldest friends. We’ve been before and I wrote about it here. This trip was every bit as lovely.
I am preoccupied with cutting my hair; this affliction hits every few years where I decide that I can’t abide long hair a moment more and get fixated on a young, modern hairstyle. I then get fearful that I will get it cut and end up with the dreaded ‘housewife hair’ and so oscillate between the two extremes for weeks on end. I’ve written about it before here. I am furtively watching YouTube vlogs of how to style a ‘lob’ (long bob) and being vaguely alarmed at the young women who film every part of their lives and present them with flourish for people like me. I wonder what I would have done had I been 25? I probably would have vlogged (not a verb?) my lob like everyone else!
Ever get the feeling my life is on a loop? I am repeating myself.
Meanwhile there’s Lou the writer. I regard my own book from a distance; I haven’t looked at it since the end of May in a deliberate and staunch attempt to get distance from what I wrote. It feels odd, like I have locked an old friend out in the cold as an experiment, however I am back to my old habits of mooching and house-wifing and being able to make plates of waffles for teenagers and I revel in my own domesticity. Playing house. The book can wait till September.
In moments of downtime I look at handbags. I like this one presently. The compact size of it feels symbolic; have I reached a point in my life where all I need to carry is a purse, my phone and a lip balm? I don’t need a big kiddy-paraphernalia-filled bag anymore. Note to self: times are a changing.
I am reading a book on mindfulness as the stress monkeys have been sitting on my shoulders; the world has gone nuts and I hate watching the news. Turns out mindfulness is as hard as meditation – which has alluded me for years – and so I revert to yoga, which I can just about manage. There’s a lot of background ‘noise’ in my head and we have many decisions looming and I am counting down to our summer holiday where all I need to think about is what to eat and what bikini to wear. Or what palm tree to photograph.
The lack of a serious and earnest preoccupation worries me in itself, I really ought to be making plans, but then I conclude I am on a break from all that and I settle back down to read a book. I got some heavy pure linen bed sheets which are a treat to be in. Bed is all. I don’t trust anyone who says they don’t like sleeping.
So that’s it – a kind of summer free fall which I quite like but which I shall tire of come another month. My life so compartmentalised into school terms that it is literally bizarre to think what will happen when my children are no longer bound by the academic calendar. A whole different kind of free fall…who knows??! Time to kick my heels up?